once upon a dream ~

I've got a lot of dreams, as all people do.

At 19, I've given up on most of them: being the cum laude of my high school (oh primary school me, you were adorable), going to university (wasn't made for it unfortunately), becoming a nationally ranked swimmer and tennis player (oh little me, so ambitious!) and all other sorts of impressive feats most people younger than 16 would admit to dreaming of.

Hint. Hint. Do you know why some people consider me a falling star now?

Nonetheless, the reality stick hit me hard, and so did the terrible habits of growing up.

For all the parents or adults out there who don't remember their formative years, a friendly reminder: Hormones are a bitch and mood swings suck for everyone.

Anyway.

The wonderful thing about growing up, and life in general is that there will always be new dreams, and thankfully despite my dinosaur era-ending-crash landing I still have hope for these dreams.

One of them being my dream of becoming a writer. It was always a hobby and the amount of time and experience I gained through writing fanfiction for so many years can never be undone, and for the life of me, I can't stop writing even for even my own good (cum laude, nationally ranked sportswoman, university, all that jazz). It's a madness that I wish were not mine and yet at the same time if there were a cure, I would rather scorn it than take it.

But that's what it's about though, isn't it?

A writer writes because they have to. It isn't so much as a desire as it is a need. However, I know very well that things can change, that maybe someday I won't need it as much anymore and to claim the loaded title of "writer" still makes me hesitate..

But in my own world, in my muse palace, I'll loudly and proudly say it: My name is Angela, and I'm a writer.

Perhaps one day I won't be afraid of the title, or even better, I'll deserve it.