Everyone has flaws. Real people and fictional characters alike. Flaws are present in every aspect of our lives if we pay close enough attention.
Flaws have that effect of building character in something. If something were perfect, it wouldn't be particularly interesting, would it?
In stories, character flaws are important.
They make readers able to relate, understand and see things through the eyes of the character in charge of the tale.
But can the same be said for normal, every day, real life people?
I like to think I'm honest with myself. I mean, if I can't be honest with me, who can I be honest with?
Following the vein of the pilot episode of Mind Games (even though the show was cancelled, but that has nothing to do with this mm'kay?) I am going to be admitting just a few of my flaws as a person and more importantly as a writer:
I'm a weenie.
I hate making characters suffer.
I'm an idealist.I'll only take a happily-ever-after.
I'm a romantic.
I'm afraid of 'breaking' characters, and not liking them if they have certain flaws or realizations I don't agree with even though I came up with it.
There's a part of my brain that comes up with stuff even I'm afraid to acknowledge and that I can't seem to accept as my own.
I'm selfish.
I'm arrogant.
I like to think I know best.
I'm easily offended.
I'm sensitive.
I can't compartmentalize.
I'm inconsistent.
I'm easily overwhelmed.
I'm easy to diagnose myself with depression.
I'm easily influenced when its the right person or the right words said.
I'm stubborn.
I lack confidence.
I feel overwhelmingly insecure.
Seeks validation.
I procrastinate.
I'm indecisive about practically everything.
I like to dream about a life rather than actually having one.
I'm afraid, terrified of moving out of my comfort zone.
I hate feeling lonely.
I don't like the ugly truth.
The point of all this, as it was mentioned in the Mind Games pilot, is to be able to open myself up and show that I have nothing to hide. The dangerous side of this is that I am also open to either ridicule or acceptance by others, and the question of me being "perfect" has been shattered long before anyone has even gotten to know me.
Not only from a writing perspective, but from real life situations I've always been told to "fake it until you make it". Confidence goes a long way especially when a tough skin is required to brave the trolls, negative responses and the like. Pretending that you've got it handled (via Olivia Pope) is a way of getting people to trust in you and your abilities and becomes a point from where you try to prove that you deserve this trust, or rather, expectation you have inadvertently put on yourself.
"Faking it", however, is problematic.
We get arrogant. We get closed minded. We get negative about other people. We only do things that make us feel good. All in an attempt to be our version of perfect.
And perfect is all a load a bull.
The more someone pretends to be perfect, the more they forget who they actually are.
The more someone closes themselves off to feeling things that make them uncomfortable in order to maintain that perfection, the more they limit themselves from experiences they can actually grow from.
The more someone craves perfection the more unhappy they are with everything they do and everything around them.
Until one day when that person decides they can't retain it, can't achieve it, can't emulate it, can't do it.
And then their whole world falls down.
This is different from wanting to do your best. This is about growth, and what it takes to get there.
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